Archive for the ‘bored’ Category

Ebonics

Friday, March 28th, 2008

Leroy is a 20 year-old 5th grader. This is Leroy’s Ebonics homework assignment. He must use each vocabulary word in a sentence.

1. Foreclose
If I pay alimony today, I got no money foreclose.

2. Rectum
I had two Cadillac’s, but my bitch rectum both.

3. Hotel
I gave my girlfriend crabs, and the hotel everybody.

4. Disappointment
My parole officer tol’ me if I miss disappointment they gonna send me back to the joint.

5. Penis
I went to the doctors and he handed me a cup and said penis.

6. Israel
Tito try to sell me a Rolex. I say, “man, it look fake.” He say, “Bullshit, that watch israel”.

7. Catacomb
I saw Don King at da fight the other night. Man, somebody get that catacomb.

8. Undermine
There’s a fine lookin’ ho living in the apartment undermine.

9. Acoustic
When I was little, my uncle bought me acoustic and took me to the poolhall.

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Government Employees

Wednesday, March 26th, 2008

Three boys are on the playground bragging about their dads.  The first one says “My dad can throw a football from one end zone to the other end zone, run down the field and catch the ball.” The second boy says “Well my dad can pitch a baseball at 120 miles per hour, run to home plate, hit the ball, then run to the outfield and catch the ball.” The third boy says “My dad works for the government and he gets off work at 4 and is home by 3:30.”