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//Random Useless General Information

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quotes[0]='Did you know you can eat corn twice?'
quotes[1]='Why don\'t they make mouse flavored cat food?'
quotes[2]='Why don\'t sheep shrink when it rains?'
quotes[3]='Smile, Jesus loves you.  It is everybody else who thinks your an a-hole.'
quotes[4]='She got fired from the M&M factory for throwing away all the W\'s.'
quotes[5]='They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.'
quotes[6]='Some call it a 6 pack, I call it a support group.'
quotes[7]='I\'m a lot like Alcohol.  Some can handle me, others vomit.'
quotes[8]='Your just jealous the voices only talk to me.'
quotes[9]='He\'s out of his mind, but feel free to leave a message.'
quotes[10]='She recently lost 20 pounds. To bad she was in England when it happened.'
quotes[11]='Friendship is like pissing your pants...Everyone can see it, but only you can feel its true warmth.'
quotes[12]='I am built for comfort. Not speed.'
quotes[13]='You should not take laxatives and sleeping pills the same nite.'
quotes[14]='When sending someone styrafoam, what do you pack it in?'
quotes[15]='You know the look women get when they want sex?... Me neither.'
quotes[16]='A day without sunshine is like, night.'
quotes[17]='On the other hand..... you have different fingers.'
quotes[18]='I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.'
quotes[19]='42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.'
quotes[20]='I feel like I\'m diagonally parked in a parallel universe.'
quotes[21]='Honk if you love peace and quiet.'
quotes[22]='Remember, half the people you know are below average.'
quotes[23]='He who laughs last thinks slowest.'
quotes[24]='Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.'
quotes[25]='The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.'
quotes[26]='I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.'
quotes[27]='Support bacteria. They\'re the only culture some people have.'
quotes[28]='Monday is an awful way to spend 1\\7 of your life.'
quotes[29]='A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory. '
quotes[30]='Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.'
quotes[31]='Get a new car for your spouse. It\'ll be a great trade! '
quotes[32]='Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.'
quotes[33]='Always try to be modest, and be proud of it!'
quotes[34]='If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.'
quotes[35]='OK, so what\'s the speed of dark?'
quotes[36]='How do you tell when you\'re out of invisible ink?'
quotes[37]='If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.'
quotes[38]='When everything is coming your way, you\'re in the wrong lane.'
quotes[39]='Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.'
quotes[40]='Everyone has a photographic memory; Some just don\'t have film.'
quotes[41]='Eagles may soar, but weasels don\'t get sucked into jet engines.'
quotes[42]='What happens if you get scared "half to death" twice?'
quotes[43]='I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.'
quotes[44]='I couldn\'t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.'
quotes[45]='Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injection?'
quotes[46]='If it wasn\'t for pick pockets I would have no sex life at all.'
quotes[47]='I would give my right arm to be ambidextrous.'
quotes[48]='People who say money can\'t buy happieness just don\'t know where to shop.'
quotes[49]='Don\'t you just hate it when you see one of those road sighns that says "draw bridge ahead" and you don\'t have a pencil?'
quotes[50]='Time is a great teacher... but unfortunately it kills all its pupils.'
quotes[51]='Why is abbreviated such a long word?'
quotes[52]='Panties, not the greatest thing on earth. But next to it.'


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